Big Pharma Pushes 'Miracle Cure'
for Holocaust Denial SyndromeWritten by Michael James
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
FRANKFURT, Germany -- Governments, police services, and prison
authorities around the world are reportedly "overjoyed" by the launch
of a new prescription drug that cures people who doubt the veracity
of the Zionist-inspired atrocity allegations, the so-called Jewish
Holocaust.
Shares in Israel-based Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals Incorporated
rocketed to 89 US dollars following the long-awaited announcement of
a miracle cure for Holocaust Denial Syndrome (HDS)
Soon to be marketed and sold under the name Holozac, the drug works
by closing down the brain's center of intellectual inquiry. It also
blocks the re-uptake of politically incorrect neurotransmitters
involved in critical thought processes, making it more difficult to
distinguish between truth and lies.
"We're simply overwhelmed by the response of the governments we
control in the Zionist West," says Ari Scheister, Marketing Director
for Goy & Goy's regional office in Germany. "Particularly so in the
European Union where prisons are bursting at the seams with
professors, journalists, and academics who each suffer the symptoms
of advanced and potentially fatal HDS and other diseases associated
with human awareness and a passion for the truth."
Europe's most prominent sufferers, Ernst Zündel, Germar Rudolf, and
David Irving are said to be in a stable condition following
incarceration in high-security prison facilities for People Who Read
Books (PWRBs).
"Next to People Who Have the Audacity to Actually Write Books
(PWHTATAWBs), the PWRBs are our most urgent concern," says Guenther
Gutmensch, Parliamentary Chairman of the Federal Commission for
Confiscating and Burning Books That Make People Think Something Ain't
Right (FCFCABBTMPTSAR). "They ask lots of questions and they have an
unnatural and very unhealthy obsession with finding out the truth.
They simply do not believe a word we say."
Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals were given the green light by EU health
regulators yesterday following extensive double-blind tests involving
twenty HDS sufferers. Over a seven-day period, the patients were
allowed unrestricted access to a library of detailed and
scientifically authenticated studies of the so-called Jewish
Holocaust. Ten of the patients were given a placebo, whereas each of
the other ten was administered 500 mg of Holozac twelve times a day.
"The results were astonishing," says Dr Ron Haggler, who supervised
the trial. "On the first day, both groups quickly found all three
volumes of the 1948 'Report of the International Committee of the Red
Cross', and 'The Hoax of the Twentieth Century' by Arthur Butz. On
the second day, patients were still reading and discussing Germar
Rudolf's 'Lectures on the Holocaust' and Juergen Graf's seminal 'The
Giant with Feet of Clay'."
"However," continues Haggler, "by Wednesday morning the group treated
with Holozac had actually pushed aside Carlo Mattogno's 'Auschwitz:
Rumor and Reality' and Norman Finkelstein's 'The Holocaust Industry'
in favor of the semi-mythical 'Schindler's List'. At the end of the
experiment they were actually fighting over the only available copy
of Germany's favourite self-loathing, government-controlled newspaper
'Bild Zeitung'."
There are however side effects associated with Holozac. Its active
ingredient, Zionine, has been shown to cause a pathological hatred of
Palestinians and Muslims in general.
"It's not for cartoonists or editor's of Mossad-controlled
newspapers," Haggler explained. "We are also cautioning doctors not
to prescribe to patients who have a habit of harming either
themselves or complete strangers and who then blame that harm on
imaginary Arab terrorists."
Haggler's colleagues also stress that giving the drug to Christians
who have been artfully persuaded to believe a false, unscriptural,
satanic doctrine known as the Zionist Dispensation would be sheer
overkill.
"Cyrus Scofield and the Rapture crowd did to American Christians what
this drug can do to the Holy Remnant," says an Israeli team
coordinator, smiling. "Pastors and Ministers in the United States,
who have deliberately confused the pristine Kingdom of God with a
stretch of worthless real estate on a spinning ball of dirt, have all
but made medical treatment with Holozac unnecessary. A Scofield
Reference Bible believer on just one milligram of Zionine would make
the Irgun death squad look like the Cub Scouts on a paper chase.
Buying stock in Caterpillar would be a smart move. Here's my broker's
phone number."
Despite such reservations about possible side effects, the European
Union has already invested 15 billion euros in what it describes as
the most ambitious mental health campaign in modern times.
"We're talking about targeted pre-emptive measures," says an EU
spokesman for Mental Hygiene and Correct Thinking. "Holocaust Denial
Syndrome begins at home and in the classroom. Does your child ask
questions? Does he or she read books? Does he or she get bored with
television news programmes and surf the Internet for uncensored
history sites and the truth about September 11? If the answer is
'yes' to any one of these painfully necessary questions, then your
child should be treated with Holozac immediately before his or her
brain has a chance to fully develop its dangerous critical faculties."
Much to the delight of Goy & Goy shareholders, that recommendation
was heartily echoed by psychiatric professionals throughout the
European Union yesterday.
"We often find ourselves being called out at short notice to help the
police deal with highly intelligent people who question the official
version of history and who therefore require urgent medication," says
first-responder Heidi Stomp. "At the end of the day, all we want is a
society of normal, well-adjusted people who watch television, trust
the government, don't ask questions, pay taxes, and love Israel."
"Governments are limited in terms of what they can do to keep young
men dying in wars for Israel premised upon our cleverly scripted
history and other scams," reiterates Ari Scheister. "They can burn
books and lie and deceive over and over again, but there's always a
hard core of dangerously self-educated and wilfully informed people
who persist in asking troublesome questions about our precious and
wonderfully unique Holocaust, despite the threat of imprisonment or
worse. The only way to deal with this terrible disease and stop the
truth from infecting other people is by treating sufferers with our
new miracle Holozac."
"To paraphrase one of our cleverest non-attributable disinformation
slogans of all time," concludes Scheister, "it may not be the only
solution, but it's sure as hell the final solution. Pass the Sushi,
will ya?"
-------------------
Michael James is a British freelance journalist and translator,
resident in Germany for almost 14 years.